


Hummus

by drarrymehome



Series: Draco Discovers Muggle Things [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, Draco Malfoy is Clueless About Muggle Things, M/M, Obsessive Behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24277993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drarrymehome/pseuds/drarrymehome
Summary: When Draco discovers hummus for the first time and drives Harry mad
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: Draco Discovers Muggle Things [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740991
Comments: 18
Kudos: 75





	Hummus

It didn’t surprise Harry that Draco was easily enthralled by muggle food items. He’d laughed until he’d cried when Draco had discovered scotch eggs and thrown one out the window with disgust. He’d been truly amazed when Draco had professed his undying love for pickled onion flavoured Monster Munch, since the smell alone made Harry feel sick. Harry had even understood, sort of, Draco’s strange interest in dipping anything and everything in marmite just because he was determined to find something that actually went well with it.

But never in Harry’s wildest dreams had he ever imagined the total obsession that would occur from Draco’s discovery of hummus. It was like setting a caged animal free for the first time.

They had been at a picnic on Hampstead Heath when Hermione had produced a pot of the beige gloop. The look of horror and disgust on Draco’s face at its appearance would be burned into Harry’s mind forever.

“Bloody hell, fire, and damnation, Granger. Are you trying to kill me? What the hell is that stuff?” Draco nearly dropped the cherry tomato he had been about to eat. It was a blazing hot day and the heath was packed with people who’d had the same idea as them. Except, as wizards, they benefitted from cooling and sun protective charms and could keep their perfect spot all day without burning. A few heads turned at Draco’s outburst, but most were rendered sluggish in the heat of the day.

“Is it exhausting being so dramatic all the time? Is that why you sleep so much?” Ron asked him. He was lying flat on his back on the picnic blanket with his eyes closed. Harry had thought he was asleep until then. Draco rolled his eyes like he’d heard it a hundred times before. Which he had.

“It’s called beauty sleep, Weasley. You should try it sometime.” It was still utterly bizarre to Harry that these barbs were actually the banter of friendship, but he also loved it.

“Trust me Draco, you’ll like this.” Hermione said to him. On that particular day, Harry had made falafel, a speciality of his that Ron and Hermione always begged him to make. One of the few things he’d managed to recover from his parents’ house when he went back all those years later was an old cookbook belonging to his grandmother. Falafel was the first recipe he tried, and it had become his signature.

“What is it?” Draco peered into the pot as if it would attack him.

“It’s mostly chickpeas and garlic,” Harry told him, thinking about the time he’d tried to make hummus with beetroot. It didn’t go down well…

Draco looked dubious but he took some of the hummus anyway, and the rest, as they say, is history.

If only Harry had known then what he knows now. Hummus became the new marmite except this time, Draco put hummus on everything because he had become a complete hummus fiend. He used it on all the regular things Harry associated with hummus – carrot, celery, pitta bread, that kind of thing. But then things started to get weird.

Harry discovered he had marinated chicken with it. Then he started dipping apples in it. Next he put it in risotto. But the final straw came for Harry when he put it in brownies. Just… why. In actual fact, some of these, despite sounding weird, were kind of nice. Unfortunately, when hummus had been on the menu for seven meals in a row, Harry was about a minute away from losing his mind.

“HARRY!!! THERE’S NO HUMMUS LEFT!” Draco shouted from the kitchen. If Harry had a galleon for every time Draco said that…

“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU ATE IT ALL!” He yelled right back, coming to investigate where the last pot went. He _swore_ he only bought some the day before yesterday. He walked into the kitchen to find Draco stood at the island holding a slice of bread with half a pot of hummus dumped on top of it. He watched on in bewilderment as Draco proceeded to slap another slice on top of the hummus mountain to make a sandwich.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Harry groaned. He could see what was going to happen before it did. Draco took a bite and a huge glob of hummus fell out of the back of the sandwich.

Harry was stunned. He had watched Draco in the Great Hall during every mealtime for seven years and never once had he seen him have less than impeccable table manners. Yet here he was, stood in the middle of Harry’s kitchen, eating standing up, with hummus covered fingers.

It was like he was seeing Draco for the first time.

“Don’t you want to… uh, sit down? You know, the hummus isn’t going to disappear if you take your time to eat it.” Harry had always been funny about when and where he ate food. He wasn’t exactly sure why, but he always had to eat at a table.

“You just don’t understand, Potter. Hummus is life.” No, Harry didn’t understand, but what made matters worse was the frankly indecent sight of Draco licking hummus off his fingers. Even though it should have been disgusting, seeing Draco’s tongue moving like that made Harry’s mouth go dry.

“Um, no, I suppose not,” he muttered dazedly. He was too distracted by Draco’s tongue and long fingers to put up much resistance.

“Do you think hummus goes with chocolate?” Draco asked him, completely oblivious to what he was doing to Harry.

“Draco, no. This has to stop. Don’t you think you’ve had enough hummus for now? You’ll make yourself sick of it and then you’ll never get to enjoy it again.” He was looking at Draco helplessly now. It wasn’t the end of the world that Draco had developed a love of hummus, but Harry would quite like to be able to kiss him again without tasting garlic.

“I suppose I could slow down a bit. But just know you can’t police what I eat, Potter! It’s not my fault your taste buds are terrible…” He looked at Harry with that haughty expression that used to make Harry want to punch him in the face, but now makes him laugh.

“I’m going to overlook that comment since it was me who cooked you that paella you loved so much.”

Draco made a dreamy kind of face as if he could taste it just by Harry mentioning it. “Ugh. That paella was so good. You’re too good to me you know.”

Harry rolled his eyes and took a step closer so he could wipe away a smudge of hummus at the corner of Draco’s mouth. He kissed him and blushed furiously when Draco pulled away to lick the hummus off Harry’s thumb.

“Can I get that in writing?” Harry asked him cheekily. Draco swatted at Harry’s arse, but he was too slow as Harry was already turning and running away laughing.

“Get back here, you cheeky little shit!”

Later that evening the two of them were sitting in the dark watching a show Dean had recommended about an American man who kept tigers. Harry was feeling a bit like a giddy teenager because he was snuggled against Draco, his head buried in Draco’s chest, and his arms wrapped tightly around him. Draco rarely let Harry snuggle like this, so Harry took every chance he got. He was just about to doze off when Draco suddenly shifted and said:

“Oh, I forgot to mention earlier – have you heard of this thing called instant coffee? Granger introduced it to me. It’s like regular coffee, except it dissolves _instantly_. How wild is that? Oh! And! Get this; she whipped it with sugar, and it was all fluffy like a meringue on top of the milk! I’ve got to try it myself. Are you sure muggles don’t have _any_ magic? It seemed pretty magical to me.”

Harry thumped his head against Draco’s chest and groaned.

“Damnit, Hermione!”


End file.
